Fortunate

A very nice girl once said to me that when the moment is gone you wouldn't want to post it anymore, I think she's right. I was going to sleep, then I remembered the first message I got this morning.

Angels live among us, some of usgot plenty, some of us got less, it's depend on how nice the person is. And luckily I have one who is always monitoring me, who knows that I'm alone even though I denied it.

Sunday, 26-12-2010, 7.59 am. She said I shouldn't go to a certain place because she heard that there're going to be a riot around that location. Then she said that I shouldn't sleep too late every night because it's unhealthy. She said that I should take care of myself especially my health. She said if I can work like 9-5 everyday, and rest like normal people.

I know she sent me that message because she can't take care of me like she used to, as now the priorities are different. But I'm still the same old person to her. I think she's right to do so. I told myself that I won't make her worry about me anymore, even if I need to fake it in front of her. She is the real lady, I love her like so much, and that's why I will do anything for her.

I hope these inaudible words will be said out loud to you one day. Sis.

Technology

Modern life is trying to make you a naked exhibitionist.

Don't be one.

modern life is rubbish

Right now everyone is saying happy mothers day through twitter or facebook. They put up really beautiful words for their moms, about how they love em, thanks for taking care of me, greatest mom in the world, bla bla bla. Do their parents even have twitter or facebook accounts? Isn't it more effective to give them a call or private msg?

I'm sorry it really isn't my business.

9 hours

Since the early morning I knew today will be a very long, stressful day. And yes, it was a very bad day till he opened up my eyes and realised that it's just my mind messing things up.

"I've never seen you so stressed like this before..." she said.

I wasn't satisfied with the stuff I produced, and lost all the self confidence, I thought I'm just going to give up being a so called creative designer. I said why would he done this to me, why he didn't give me the ideas. I opened up all the books and references. But day was just getting worse as nobody around me that afternoon, no support, no good words, just self blaming, bad ones. Nobody asked, I didn't share it, so it's simple, nobody will care.

And also, an expectation that I was waiting for didn't turn up, I was running out of battery but the charger wasn't so responsive. The red light I was hoping never turned up.

Then it was just an hour before the meeting so I packed all the work I did, and went off. I kept whining about how he didn't help me, yet I said to him to help me out this time, help me. Imagining all the bad feedbacks and responses that I will get while driving to the meeting place. I was like a walking corpse.

Ok, now, the good facts. The clients love most of my ideas, they said that they're right to chose me to do this project. I felt like relieved in split seconds after having a very sick day. I still think it was not good yet, and I hate it, but at least I will enjoy the rest of the night, 9 hours?

I said thank you. Thank you for being there when there's no single soul helping me out. Thank you for keeping quite while I was whining like a loser, just so I would find the answer by myself. Am not bad at all.

A very difficult day.

Now go to sleep

(Perhaps) the worst headache a man could ever get is a mixture of his professional idealism and his personal egotism. And those who doesn't have both of them at once might not encounter this, but too bad they will only just be a happy-go-lucky, normal people. Like a dead fish, you will only follow the stream.

Feel better now?